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Wedding Etiquette and What Does it Mean?

CONGRATULATIONS YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!! That means that there was a proposal and you accepted....now what? One of the first things that you need to do is pick a date and venue. A lot of venues book well over a year in advance so finding the perfect location on the date that you choose could be challenging. Second to finding the venue would be choosing a photographer. Most of us book 9-12 months in advance so once you know your date and venue find the photographer. Catering, DJ's/Bands, Flowers, Cake Designer, a dress, bridal party and all those things will fall into place.


DO I NEED SAVE THE DATE CARDS? Some people like to include their engagement images and send out save the date notices so that people can plan well in advance of the wedding. Typically save the date cards would be mailed out approximately six-months prior to the wedding which gives people enough time to plan and make arrangements if they need to travel to the venue.


WEDDING INVITATIONS - what is the proper etiquette on mailing those? Most people will say that 6-8 weeks prior to the ceremony is a good rule of thumb unless you are doing a destination wedding and then you should focus more on 12 weeks in advance. Typically if the Bride's parents are paying for everything then their names go on the invitation. If the groom's parents are splitting costs or chipping in money then both sets of parents should go on the invitation. For all practical purposes anything over 100 guests is considered a large wedding. Different regions and cultures could consider it small but for most areas that is a large wedding. It is customary to include "plus one" for all married, engaged or cohabitating couples when you send out the invitations.


RSVP - that's exactly what it stands for Respond so very promptly, but yet people DO NOT always adhere to that in our culture! Having planned a wedding in the past few years it was frustrating not getting the RSVP's back when we requested and then some that returned them but didn't show up on the wedding date was equally annoying. Things happen and plans change because most things are out of our control, but if you say you are going to be there and something comes up a phone call or text message to the bride or her parents would ALWAYS be appreciated so they have a more accurate head count.


One last thing I have learned and heard over the years.....DO NOT WEAR WHITE unless you are the bride! There have been many instances in the recent past where a bride got completely upset and let it ruin her day simply because someone wore a white dress and she felt they were trying to put the spotlight on themselves. My personal opinion is that a white dress or shirt with some additional coloring in it would not be a huge issue, but be careful as you don't want to be "that person" that ruined the wedding because of a questionable clothing choice!!


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